She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
