can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
