we have pet lesbian snakes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish my penis had a tongue
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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