He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
where am i from again
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
