I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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