Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
