You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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