I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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