Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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