I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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