Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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