I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
