At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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