Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize