Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
