I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
