Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
