oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
