Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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