She announced her abortion via fbk
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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