I got chris browned last night
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
