I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
