hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
