Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
