Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So vagazzling was a success
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
