How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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