Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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