with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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