I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
