Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
