I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
