is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
