my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
