One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security