Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....