smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now