I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize