i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.