I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
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how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
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Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.