Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
