Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
