It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
