She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drunk is not a location!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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