508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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