Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
