Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
