I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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