Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
