On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
