That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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