Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
