office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
