we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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