you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize