We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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