I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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