Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school http://tfl.nu/dith
  Replies (36) Good night (3296) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/bad1
  Replies (30) Good night (3222) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect. http://tfl.nu/dim5
  Replies (43) Good night (14126) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project. http://tfl.nu/03dc
  Replies (38) Good night (1178) Bad night (4836)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you mean i was at the winter classic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): you mean i was at the winter classic? http://tfl.nu/ck5g
  Replies (39) Good night (5294) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping. http://tfl.nu/aea5
  Replies (30) Good night (3606) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands. http://tfl.nu/9x0j
  Replies (22) Good night (6430) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon. http://tfl.nu/vb88
  Replies (13) Good night (5103) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now. http://tfl.nu/p09l
  Replies (6) Good night (4289) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1547) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house. http://tfl.nu/6cay
  Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand http://tfl.nu/6s03
  Replies (10) Good night (759) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home http://tfl.nu/5cvq
  Replies (5) Good night (546) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit is preposterous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans (610): Shit is preposterous http://tfl.nu/iova
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy. http://tfl.nu/x3g5
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (162)

Randomize