...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation