what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.