Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
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She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??