bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.