I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
