Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.

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(705): "The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub. http://tfl.nu/ge4i

Replies (22) Good night (3813) Bad night (683)
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(912): View more from Georgia

So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.

(1-912): View more from Georgia

Who leaves their car unlocked at night?

(912): View more from Georgia

Someone who wants to read the newspaper.

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(912): So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper. (1-912): Who leaves their car unlocked at night? (912): Someone who wants to read the newspaper. http://tfl.nu/c19o

Replies (23) Good night (7210) Bad night (851)
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(845): View more from New York

I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing

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(845): I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing http://tfl.nu/4411

Replies (24) Good night (5460) Bad night (1352)
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(850): View more from Florida

Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.

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(850): Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/igif

Replies (14) Good night (1024) Bad night (3142)
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(805): View more from California

Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.

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(805): Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order. http://tfl.nu/u5vw

Replies (16) Good night (3993) Bad night (754)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm never eating chinese again.

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(215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8

Replies (11) Good night (928) Bad night (4530)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.

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(724): Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them. http://tfl.nu/a4j7

Replies (17) Good night (1117) Bad night (6264)
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(703): View more from Virginia

theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.

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(703): theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already. http://tfl.nu/gg0y

Replies (11) Good night (2739) Bad night (971)
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(301): View more from Maryland

so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards

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(301): so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards http://tfl.nu/20k7

Replies (11) Good night (2290) Bad night (679)
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(757): View more from Virginia

She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.

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(757): She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night. http://tfl.nu/eco5

Replies (8) Good night (521) Bad night (1521)
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(571): View more from Virginia

He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.

(818): View more from California

He could of at least asked

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(571): He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude. (818): He could of at least asked http://tfl.nu/04jo

Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (449)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??

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(973): I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me?? http://tfl.nu/odnb

Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (393)
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(310): View more from California

Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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(310): Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent. http://tfl.nu/z8ey

Replies (0) Good night (674) Bad night (335)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.

(1+44): View more from

But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?

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(+44): No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day. (1+44): But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right? http://tfl.nu/jhlo

Replies (0) Good night (593) Bad night (358)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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(308): Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator. http://tfl.nu/h4v1

Replies (2) Good night (290) Bad night (849)

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