so that wasnt chicken after all
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
