A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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