dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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