I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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