I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
