They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize