..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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