Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
