I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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